We all have problems, no matter how old or young we are, there's always a problem. Sometimes, these problems are piling up like dirty laundry in a rainy season. It gets so high over time, and it starts to get heavier.
People have a different take on coping with it. We are different from one another after all. Let's say there's one person who decides to tell their problems to someone, just to lessen the burden they've been feeling. Someone who can listen.
"Be patient, you need to be more patient.""You can't just give up like that, come on!“"It's actually not as hard as what I went through before, I went through something worse than you...""Be grateful, someone else might be living a worse problem than yours."
Those are not what they asked for. At all. They don't need any of those. They just want to be listened to. Just listen, without any judgment.
How hard is it for you to listen to someone telling you about their problems without giving any judgment or handed out your opinion? Did they ask for it? No. If they do, they will ask, but they didn't. Unless you are a certified shrink, but you aren't.
And thanks for those unnecessary positive words you thought might help them, you are now making it worse. What you thought was something to cheer them up, it turns out toxic. So toxic, they can't help but think that they are a worthless person alive for not being patient, for feeling helpless, for being ungrateful. Which they are absolutely not, they think that way because you gave them the idea.
Again, how hard is it for you to just listen without giving any judgment? Show some empathy. You have no idea what kind of shitstorm they are trying to get out of. Of course, everyone has a problem, but just because your problems are bigger, doesn't mean their problems are less significant. They have a lot going on already, they don't need your toxic positivity, they just need you to listen. Just listen.
Would you listen?
1st March 2019
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