Lahannya sekarang sempit, cuma segitu doangan.

Oh boy

It took all of my patient to not immediately hung up the phone last night when you said those harsh words just to saved your own pride.

"Serupa layang-layang, ketika benangku putus, kau tidak mengejarku, kau biarkan aku terbang jauh.
Lalu dengan mudahnya kau menerbangkan layang-layang yang baru."

- mbeeer (via Tumblr)

dan serupa dengan layang-layang yg benangnya sudah putus, aku melayang dengan arah tak tentu.

Ari: Kok lu jomblo sih ca?
Gue: Ya karena waktu itu gue diputusin sama mantan gue ri, kalo gue ngga diputusin juga gue ngga bakal jomblo sekarang. *jawabnya ga pake mikir dulu*

- tapi emang bener kan jawabannya itu? Hehehe.

"It's funny how a certain place can make you feel nostalgic and lonely at the same time. How it can both bring you a rain of memories and remind you that it's all over now."

- Chairunnisa, currently thinking of that certain place.

Minority #2

Yesterday I was approached by a little girl when I was in the elevator heading downstairs. She's so cute I may say, with a dark brown curly hair and wore a white robe, I think she was going to swim. The second she entered the elevator, her eyes stucked on my head like everybody when I passed by. After she press the button, she said, "Hi!" with a smile. Dang, she's cute. I "Hi" back to her.

"Bayi sama balita adalah jenis-jenis manusia yg ngga pernah bohong menurut gue. Kenapa? Soalnya mereka kalau ngerasa sakit, pasti nangis. Coba kalau remaja sampai orang dewasa, kalo sakit malah seringnya pura-pura senyum."

- gegara jagain Arka (keponakan, umur 1 tahun 5 bulan)

Sleepy Heads

15th March,

Peter is a person who can easily fall asleep once his body touches the bed. Just like he did this afternoon. He was so tired from his activity since morning, and it was raining cats and dogs too outside. He didn't even wake up when I poked his stomach with my finger.

When Everything's Changing

Here's the thing about going away for a quite long time:

You cannot know for sure that everything will stay the same as it used to be by the time when you get back.

"Stop trying to leave
and you will arrive."

—

Lao Tzu

Minority

I used to live as a majority back home, and being a majority gave me a lot of privileges. Besides, it's home, so I basically know every corner by heart. Ever since I came here, I become the minority. There's also a privelege being a minority, like you obviously stand out among of all people (which is a good thing if you're that type of person who likes to stand out).

There's one thing I just learned by now that when you decided to make someone happy by replacing their sorrows with someone else's happiness, you'll just end up hurting both of them.

But thank you for the answer.

10 Things I Missed Already

Here's a list of things I missed already:

1. Home
2. Halal foods
3. Sambal

"I swear if I didn't seat by the window and constantly stared outside seeing those clouds, I would probably think that I was on the ground."

- that describes how smooth my flight was, but the opposite when landing :')

Leaving On A Jetplane

Ketika tadi menginjakkan kaki di Bandara, rasanya seluruh tubuh berkonspirasi untuk mengajak balik kanan dan pulang kembali ke rumah. Apalagi saat sampai di anjungan ke pesawat, kaki enggan bergerak dan koper mendadak sejuta kalo lebih berat dari berat awal.

My final gaze

Stay a while,

still gazing the way you move, 

from far

I’m taking it harder now I know, 

Shows coming to an end it seems

Stay a while, 

I’m taking my final gaze you see

Gonna look back this time

I will wander the words again my dear

As I look around this room for the last time, the memories spinning around in the back of my mind like a vinyl record on the old gramophone. I remember every little things that was ever happened and anyone who has ever been in this room.

An emotional night

Last night after I packed up all my things and stuffs (which is a lot for someone who was just staying there for three years) into boxes, I noticed that this room is now hundred times quieter than it was when Luna left. I could even heard myself thinking. It echoed all over the walls.

Sometimes you want to give up and walk away, and sometimes it's the other way around. Sometimes it's not you who eventually giving up and walk away.

"And you say that it's hard, it's you walk away again. And you say that it's hard, you still walk away in the end."

Terkadang kepengen ini otak sama hati dikeluarin terus ditaruh di atas meja, supaya yg nanya, yg masih penasaran, yg bingung, yg butuh jawaban bisa lihat langsung karena saking alfabet sudah mulai kehilangan kesaktiannya dan bibir pun bisu karenanya.

Seperti itulah.

"Coba deh, sisakan rasa sayang untuk diri sendiri"

- @GADISmagz

Not Much.

"And then one day I realized he knew everything about me. My deepest secrets, my worse pain. Enough to fill a million novels. But I didn’t know enough about him to even write a pamphlet." 

- Meredith, Castle Season 5 "Significant Others"

I was just finished watching Castle, and that line was just startled me.

And then I realized something.

"Kenapa orang itu memilih untuk bersama kita kalo emang cuma untuk ditinggalin ujung-ujungnya?"

- pertanyaan yg sering malang-melintang di benak saya.
 9 Maret 2015 | 5.04 pm

General Inquiries #2

What is real?
How do I know if something is real?

What is life?
What is death?

Waktu Bersih-bersih Sangat Singkat

Hal ini menjadi salah satu hal yang paling awal diakui oleh para pegawai bioskop. Mereka tak punya alokasi waktu yang cukup untuk melakukan pembersihan bioskop secara menyeluruh. Bahkan, jika beberapa film selesai bersamaan, petugas kebersihan bioskop hanya memiliki beberapa menit untuk membersihkan beberapa studio sekaligus.

There are two types of people in my opinion (which nobody asked about it btw):

1. People who reach out to you because they're genuinely want to talk to you;
2. People who reach out to you because they need something from you.

Which one are you?

This was it.

Epilogue

As Peter kissed my forehead and both of my cheeks gently last night, I counted every seconds I had left. My hands were on his back, hugging every inch of him as much as I could, basking in his scent I know so well.

I rested my head on his chest, I could hear a quiet sound of his beating heart. I closed my eyes and found myself drifted away by its rythm. I then took a glance to the clock on the wall that just kept on ticking... and ticking... and ticking.