I get to this age where my friends are off to their marriages one by one. And I get that question a lot, when will I get married too like them? To be honest, I still don't know whether I want to get married or not. It's still a question I am struggling to answer.
You spent so long guarding the wall covering your every being so they could never get to you. And you thought you've finally found the right person, so you let the wall down, but then you only get hurt time and time again. It's not that easy to go back to where you were before the wall crumbled. You've seen the heartache, you've felt the pain, you've lived the agony.
And when you are surrounded by unfaithfulness, people cheating on their partners, fathers abandoning their sons, mothers beating their children, sons, and daughters suffering... It's getting hard to really believe that there is goodness in marriage, or happiness that most people say will come along with it.
I hope this can serve as an answer if anyone ever asks me the same question again. This is probably not a good answer, not even a satisfying one, but this is all I have for now.
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