It's always been unbearable for me to go about my day around the death anniversary of my brother. I spent the past year trying to put myself back together, it always shattered around his death anniversary, and I have to do this all over again. It's endless.
I still went to the office today and did my work even though tomorrow is the death anniversary. All I want to do is just curled up in my bed and cry my heart out because it's excruciatingly painful I feel like dying. But I can't. So I just put on a show and pretend nothing's wrong because the world will still be going like usual.
He should've been here, enjoying his thirty like his friends. Showing off his animals on Instagram, get even more passionate about the vape. Get married, had children, and even if he wasn't into marriage, we still love him nonetheless. I could introduce Michael to him, and he would've approved us. He would grow old, with lots of white hair. But the time stopped forever for him.
Tomorrow will be the second year he left us. Two years of the empty seat in Eid Al-Fitr. Two years absence of birthday wishes. Two years of me trying my very best to not leave everything to join him.
Abang, may all the angels let you in and place you in the beautiful meadow with a little pond where you can play with all your animals and go fishing with Dad.
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