Michael is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.
Home can also simply be a person. And my husband became mine.
After a lifetime of watching people leave, I never imagined I'd find someone who made staying feel so effortless. I never imagined that one day I'd have someone to come home to, someone I could call mine, and who would call me theirs.
Someone who would gather every shattered piece of me and tell me they were never broken at all, but fragments of a constellation of stars.
For all the limitations that come with being human, he somehow shows me that his love has none. Even when life feels so bleak these days, whenever I’m with him, surviving it somehow feels possible. It's as if, for a little while, the world softens, and I can believe that everything will be okay.
Sometimes I wonder what my life would've looked like if I'd never met him. It's impossible to picture now. He became proof that life could still surprise me in beautiful ways.
I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I want to grow old beside him, watching the years leave their marks on our faces until we're old enough to laugh about how we somehow made it to 500 years old together because a hundred years could never be enough.
And I know that's selfish.
Humans are lucky if we're given a hundred years to live, yet here I am wishing for five hundred. Not because I believe five hundred years would ever be enough, but because no one tells you that loving someone this much changes the way you hear time.
The clock starts sounding louder until all you want to do is cover your ears, trying to forget that every tick is another second you'll never get to keep, and it becomes a quiet reminder that forever was never promised.
So no matter how many years we're given, I'll always want more.
One day, I caught myself making plans for next year, and it startled me. I hadn't realized I'd stopped doing that until he gave me reasons to look forward to tomorrow again. Before him, I wasn't thinking about the future. I was just trying to survive until tomorrow. Now, the future is something I get to dream about.
Not because I know what it holds. But because, somehow... in every version of it, he's there. Maybe that's why lately, the thought of losing him has been haunting me.
I did it once.
I don't know if my heart could survive learning how to do it twice. I don't want to imagine, let alone live, in a world where he isn't in it. If there's one wish I could ask from life, it wouldn't be for wealth, success, or certainty. It would simply be all the time this life will allow us to have, and then some more.
More years where nothing extraordinary happens, except that we get to spend them together.
After spending so much of my life believing every goodbye was only a matter of time, I found someone who made staying feel effortless.
Because no matter how long forever is, I already know it still wouldn't be enough.
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