Quiet Conversation

MY BRAIN:

why do people love happy ending so much? happily ever after doesn't exist. You know it, don't you?

ME:

maybe because they know that it doesn't real and they can't grasp the idea of it. Or maybe because they do know that it doesn't exist and they still want to believe that it did anyway, giving them some kind of hope or something. Or maybe they're just want to escape their unhappy life a little while by believing something that doesn't real.

Depok, 16 August 2015

Fantasy / Reality

I don't believe in a happy ending. I never was. It only exists in those children's books and novels, but in this reality, they're the fantasy. It's just something that people made up, to finish the story because everyone just loves the happily ever after.

"Aku menemukanmu, tapi dalam menemukanmu, aku kehilangan diriku."

- Evan Walker, The Infinite Sea by Rick Yancey.

"I often cut myself to bleed by accident. Either it's my finger which is a lot, my toes, my arm, my wrist. And my heart as well. I'm a clumsy person."

- Chairunnisa, who just accidentally cut her finger (again).

Don't you worry, I'll disappear. This time, forever.
For good.
For all the laughs,
For the memories,
For all the fallen tears,

For everything that has been done, 
For what's now,
And for everything that would never happen.

Goodbye...

Termenung

ketika aksara tak lagi bernyawa
air mata tak mampu lagi bicara
lalu saat dunia terasa gelap gulita
dan hanya hampa di mana-mana

tak tahu lagi harus berbuat apa
Tuhan, aku harus bagaimana?

Similar Story

When your friend telling you her story, it similar to what you've been through and you get that instant feeling of hurt you knew so much, and suddenly, out of nowhere, you just want to burst into tears because now everything is playing back in your head. And it's not the sort of images you want to see even in the back of your mind because it hurts so much.

Lubang Hitam

aku tertahan pada dimensi ruang dan waktu,
di mana setiap detiknya masih ada kamu.
pada satu realita dari sekian juta
semesta paralel yang telah tiada.
layaknya bumi yang kehilangan matahari,
aku sendiri berteman sepi.
menunggu alam,
mengubahku menjadi lubang hitam.

To my fellow readers, if you're exist.

I think I have a few new readers here. Well, actually I don't know whether it is a few or just one person who keeps reading the same thing over and over. So I think it's safer to say a few. Yeah, let's call it a few.

"Sepertinya letak kesalahan itu bukan ada pada siapa yg datang, tetapi pada siapa yg membukakan pintu lalu mempersilakan masuk."

- otak Chairunnisa. Iya gue yg salah kok, maaf ya.