Guilt

That heavy feeling in your chest when you're guilty of something or when you knew that you could possibly hurt someone. Maybe it's because I knew from the start that it was all wrong but I did it anyway. Not wholeheartedly though, just a quarter. But still, no excuse for me. I did what I shouldn't did.

It's not the best feeling in the world when you have to hide something from someone whereas all you want to do is telling them the truth, because you know very well how badly a lie can hurt you.

"I think that we don't have to show the world how happy we are, we're simply just have to convince ourselves how happy we truly are and the rest will follow. Because we are so good with wearing a mask, so sometimes what we want the world to see is not in line with what we're truly feel."

- Chairunnisa

Your White Flag-ish

We're in the middle of this freezing war. I thought this would last more than two weeks or at least until we both forget that we're in the middle of this thing and just keep on living like that, but it's not even a week and you blinked first. Now I really don't know what to say or how to react. Smiling doesn't even cover it. You can't really stay away from me now can you?

Sendirian Time!

"Sometimes you just need a break. In a beautiful place. Alone. To figure everything out." - Anonymous.

Itu kata pepatah. Kalo kata gue:

"Sometimes you just need a break. Wherever you want to be. Whatever you want to do. Alone. To figure yourself and something out." - Chairunnisa.

Can't sleep.

 (on Twitter)

When I was in bed so ready to sleep but my eyes won't compromise for hours.

@chrnnisaw: I can't sleep. And at night is the worst time when you're alone with all these thoughts in your head.

@chrnnisaw: So please let me sleep. Just let me. Pleaseeeee. I just want to sleep

"My dreams were taken from me. But now - now I've stolen them from someone else. I love you, but you are not mine."

- The Corpse Bride

"I have this urge to seeking the truth from everywhere because everyone seems doing a very good job of hiding the truth from me. And it's either them or I'm just a fool who's too blind to see the truth that hanging right in front of my eyes. Can't decide which one is true. Ah... See?"

- Chairunnisa

Rumah Lama

Tadi siang nyokap bayar zakat di mesjid di komplek rumah yg lama. Itu pertama kalinya gue kesana setelah pindah. Dan semuanya msh sama kayak terakhir gue tinggalin. Ya ada perubahan disana-sini sedikit. Tapi selebihnya, semuanya sama.

Menjadi Orang yang Ikhlas

Saat orang yang dulu paling kamu perjuangkan, tapi ternyata dia justru memilih orang lain. Ikhlaskanlah. Apalagi ketika kamu tahu bahwa orang yang dia pilih ternyata lebih baik darimu.

Saat impian yang dulu paling kamu inginkan, tapi tidak terwujud sama sekali. Ikhlaskanlah. Apalagi ketika kamu tahu bahwa hari ini kamu menjalani kehidupan yang jauh lebih baik dari orang lain, kehidupan yang “hanya“ menjadi impian bagi orang lain. Mereka yang ingin memiliki segala yang kamu keluhkan hari ini.

"I wish I could just slow down the time. It's moving too fast, I can't keep up. I'm losing my tight grip."

- Chairunnisa, trying to hold on.

Ycon - Make Your Own Emoticon

Berhubung bonus si bolot masih 40gb, iya asoy banget emang, tapi cuma bisa dipake dari jam 12 malem sampe jam 6 pagi. Ngok. Dan kebetulan juga lagi bulan Ramadhan jadi kan puasa, pas sahur gue foya-foya pake si bonus. Gue update lah semua itu aplikasi yg harus diupdate. Ya namanya juga foya-foya *kibas rambut*.

They were such a very good distraction yesterday. Thankyou. I really need a distraction, and a very good one. 

Hobi Baru.

Punya hobi itu bagus bukan? Selama hobinya ngga merugikan diri sendiri atau orang lain, kayak misalnya hobi nyabutin bulu ketek tetangga. Duh penting banget ga sih? Kecuali kalo dibayar, gapapa. Atau hobi nyisirin rambut adek lo yg masih botak. Ya atuh apanya yg mau disisir? Alisnya? 

-_-

Pokoknya punya hobi itu bagus, ngga cuma untuk jasmani tapi untuk rohani sama otak juga. Ngga mungkin kan pas lagi ngelakuin hobi yg kita senengin bikin mood jadi jelek? Pasti seneng terus deh. Nah kalo mood bagus, lingkungan juga jadi lebih seger dong bawaannya? Tuh kan banyak manfaatnya. Namanya juga hobi.

Lampu Hijau (Mahasiswa Skripsian #11)

Setelah hampir dua bulan skripsi ngga gue sentuh, boro-boro nyentuh, ngelirik pun engga saking stucknya. Akhirnya hari rabu kemaren gue dapet pencerahan. Alhamdulillah. Big thanks to Ka Adit yg udah dengan sabarnya ngajarin gue mulai dari basic accounting (bangsanya cash basis sama acrual basis) sampe penjurnalan. Intinya semua tetek bengek akuntansi yg dulu pas SMA mah ngga sebingung ini. Ditambah tetek bengek tentang SAK-ETAP.