Guilt

That heavy feeling in your chest when you're guilty of something or when you knew that you could possibly hurt someone. Maybe it's because I knew from the start that it was all wrong but I did it anyway. Not wholeheartedly though, just a quarter. But still, no excuse for me. I did what I shouldn't did.

It's not the best feeling in the world when you have to hide something from someone whereas all you want to do is telling them the truth, because you know very well how badly a lie can hurt you.

And the worst of all, I found myself smiling when did it, did something that will hurt someone's feeling. That kind of hurt which used to dragged me to the bottom of the ocean, and the ocean was filled with my own tears. That, how much it hurted me back then. Now I did it to someone else.

I'm a horrible human being.

I'm sorry.

I really am.

I wish I had a courage to come up and tell you the truth. But I don't.

Yet.