6.02.2018

What if #2

Is it just me or most everyone has that train of "what if" thoughts in their heads? That particular anxiety playing over and over. Because I have them sometimes. But like they always told me, I'm just overthinking stuff like I always do. Worrying over something that doesn't and perhaps won't even happen, ever.

"what if I'm really not cut out for this job?"
"what if I failed and let down everyone I care about?"
"what if I fall out of love with this guy all of the sudden?"
"what if this thing won't last as those things happened before this?"
"what if I'm no longer have the strength to suck it in?"
"what if everything's not going to be okay?"
"what if..."

Sometimes I told some of these heebie-jeebies to him, and he said, as I correctly had guessed, those are just fear that I have. And this fear got the best of me by hatching inside my brain unannounced, caught me off guard.

But doesn't everybody has fear? It's normal to fear for the unknown, isn't it? Because I think everyone, although they may deny it by saying that their lives are enough as it is, still secretly long for the perfect life that will never happen in anyone's life ever.

Maybe for me, I just want to prepare for myself if one of those scenarios eventually happens for real. At least it wouldn't take much time to get back from that unfortunate events.

There was this thing he once told me, nobody ever ready for a problem. Maybe those what if's are the reflection of our unpreparedness for the unknown. Maybe we just want to be ready when the time comes.

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