Warning Sign

Jangan mudah jatuh kepada yang datang hanya ketika butuh
Ia mungkin menghadap sambil duduk bersimpuh
Bukan berarti kau harus luluh
Karena sebentar lagi ia akan pergi menjauh
Saat keinginannya sudah penuh
Meninggalkanmu yang terlanjur tersentuh

Depok, 23 Agustus 2015

Mencintai Perempuan yang Gemar Menulis

Mencintai perempuan yang gemar menulis
Kau akan tahu
Kau harus bersikap lebih manis
Karena kata-kata baginya adalah candu
Serupa rindu yang mampu ia genggam berlama-lamanya waktu.

Longing.

"Hai, apa kabar? Aku merindukanmu."

Itu yg kutulis barusan di kotak chat yg lalu segera kuhapus. Kalah bertarung dengan ragu. Sudah beberapa hari ini raut wajahnya malang-melintang di dalam otakku. Ingin berbincang panjang lebar lagi dengannya. Membicarakan ini itu hingga waktu jauh berlari pun kami tak tahu.

Maafin saya pak, ngga sengaja. Beneran.

Pernah ngga sih kamu ngelakuin sesuatu yg stupid banget sampe bikin malu yg udah ngelewatin ubun-ubun? Gue pernah, tadi sejam yg lalu.

My Execution Day (Mahasiswa Skripsian #16)

So I'm being a little dramatic with the title. But it's what I feel today. Like I said on my Path which I shared on my Twitter too before,

"Still in a complete shock that my execution day comes early than I predicted it would be."

10 Steps to Self Care

1. If it feels wrong, don’t do it.
2. Say “exactly” what you mean.
3. Don’t be a people pleaser.

"Sure, I'm sad, but I'm not looking for soothe that sadness by replacing it with a new relationship. Women are allowed to be sad, and they're allowed to be single, and they don't need to hear that one day a man is going to make it all go away by telling her she is good enough again. She's good enough as she is."

- Karina Shafira, one of my dear friend.

"Sidang pasti berlalu, wisuda pasti bertemu."

- Mantra barunya Chairunnisa. All rights reserved.

Dini Nastiti Putri, S.E. (Mahasiswa Skripsian #15)

bentar lagi gue nyusul kok Din, tenang aja.

Temen bolang gue udah sidang lho tadi. Gilak! Gue speechless banget ngeliat dia senekat itu. Iya emang nekat kok, dia sendiri ngakuin, ya kan Din?

Stupid Dreams

And then there was this stupid dream again. I seriously want to smack the crap out of it. Really. It's just that...*sigh* It's almost a week I had all these stupid dreams, and it started to get on my nerves a little bit. And it was not even the cool ones, it was weird and exhausting to be honest.

40K pageviews!! Wohoooo...!!

Gila gila gilaaaa. Blog gue udah di view segitu banyak.
Makasih siapapun yg pernah mengunjungi blog ngga jelas gue :')

Quiet Conversation

MY BRAIN:

why do people love happy ending so much? happily ever after doesn't exist. You know it, don't you?

ME:

maybe because they know that it doesn't real and they can't grasp the idea of it. Or maybe because they do know that it doesn't exist and they still want to believe that it did anyway, giving them some kind of hope or something. Or maybe they're just want to escape their unhappy life a little while by believing something that doesn't real.

Depok, 16 August 2015

Fantasy / Reality

I don't believe in a happy ending. I never was. It only exists in those children's books and novels, but in this reality, they're the fantasy. It's just something that people made up, to finish the story because everyone just loves the happily ever after.

"Aku menemukanmu, tapi dalam menemukanmu, aku kehilangan diriku."

- Evan Walker, The Infinite Sea by Rick Yancey.

"I often cut myself to bleed by accident. Either it's my finger which is a lot, my toes, my arm, my wrist. And my heart as well. I'm a clumsy person."

- Chairunnisa, who just accidentally cut her finger (again).

Don't you worry, I'll disappear. This time, forever.
For good.
For all the laughs,
For the memories,
For all the fallen tears,

For everything that has been done, 
For what's now,
And for everything that would never happen.

Goodbye...

Termenung

ketika aksara tak lagi bernyawa
air mata tak mampu lagi bicara
lalu saat dunia terasa gelap gulita
dan hanya hampa di mana-mana

tak tahu lagi harus berbuat apa
Tuhan, aku harus bagaimana?

Similar Story

When your friend telling you her story, it similar to what you've been through and you get that instant feeling of hurt you knew so much, and suddenly, out of nowhere, you just want to burst into tears because now everything is playing back in your head. And it's not the sort of images you want to see even in the back of your mind because it hurts so much.

Lubang Hitam

aku tertahan pada dimensi ruang dan waktu,
di mana setiap detiknya masih ada kamu.
pada satu realita dari sekian juta
semesta paralel yang telah tiada.
layaknya bumi yang kehilangan matahari,
aku sendiri berteman sepi.
menunggu alam,
mengubahku menjadi lubang hitam.

To my fellow readers, if you're exist.

I think I have a few new readers here. Well, actually I don't know whether it is a few or just one person who keeps reading the same thing over and over. So I think it's safer to say a few. Yeah, let's call it a few.

"Sepertinya letak kesalahan itu bukan ada pada siapa yg datang, tetapi pada siapa yg membukakan pintu lalu mempersilakan masuk."

- otak Chairunnisa. Iya gue yg salah kok, maaf ya.

Kehilangan Sesuatu

Akhir-akhir ini gue sering kehilangan sesuatu gitu.

Awalnya gunting kuku. Terus flashdisk. Terus kabel data. Eh lama lama hilangnya malah ngerembet kemana-mana. Ya hilang rajin, hilang perasaan, hilang rindu #lah. Yg terbaru sih sering hilang angka di bagian total laporan keuangan, entah neraca, entah laba-rugi, entah perubahan modal. pokoknya hilang.

"People are basically liars, either as a professional or just an amateur. There's no way anybody can survive their lives without telling a lie, even just for once. People are liars. Including me. And you."

- Chairunnisa

#LOMBOK Day 5: Stangi Sunset Point Rumah Bule

Kan icha mah kebiasaan banget suka lupa nulis hari terakhir kalo traveling. Kemaren pas ke Jogja lupa, sekarang yg Lombok juga lupa. Terus aja ca. Mau jadi apaan lu. Maapin ya, icha emang gitu orangnya, suka khilaf.

Lanjut.

"People are scary. They're so jugdmental about absolutely everything. You know it when they're judging you right from their piercing eyes, although they know nothing about you."

- Chairunnisa

BALANCE DONGGG! WOHOOOO (Mahasiswa Skripsian #14)

"Tiada hal yg paling membahagiakan untuk anak akuntansi dibanding ketika melihat semua Laporan Keuangan sudah dalam posisi balance." - Chairunnisa

 

Bulan Februari

Dialog Hari Ini (5 Agustus 2015)

A: Yah berarti nanti aku jauh ya kalo mau nyamperin kamu?

B: Jauh? Kok jauh?

A: Ya kan nanti kamu di Bekasi.

B: Lah kamu ngapain emang nyamperin ke Bekasi?

A: Ya ngapain gitu, main.

"Sometimes when you're doing something and meet a dead end you just have to give it up, let it go, and start with something new. Because sometimes the only way to do it, is to do so."

- Chairunnisa, efek skripsian tadi pagi sampe maghrib.

ARGH! (Mahasiswa Skripsian #13)

Ketika lo udah seneng jurnal umum yg lo buat balance terus lo lanjut sampe neraca dan ternyata ngga balance terus lo cari letak kesalahan lo dimana sampe ngubah-ngubah angka, mindahin sana-sini, dan tetep ngga balance rasanya tuh... Sedih lah kalo ngeliat langsung mah.

Gue pusing banget ngeliat neraca ngga balance melulu. Helpless banget. Yg tadi ngeliat gue skripsian mah pasti tau raut muka sama gestur tubuh gue kayak apa.

Dan gue ngulang dari awal bab 4 nya saking ngga mungkin diterusin lagi maksa pake data yg itu. Sedap.

*buang napas*

Kebut! (Mahasiswa Skripsian #12)

Kemaren skripsi sempet nganggur lagi sebulan. Iya nganggur mulu. Banyak nganggurnya emang. Maapin. Soalnya kemaren lagi ujian jadi fokus ujian juga, terus kan libur Lebaran jadi ya leha-leha dulu di rumah #alesan. Jadilah itu bab 4 masih macet di transaksi. Boro-boro udah kelar, masih harus input transaksi bulan terakhir lagi.

Dan datanglah penyelamat gue: Dini *konfeti berterbangan*

Achievement! Yeay!

I've been dying to capture humans' eyes which are one part of our bodies that I adore so much. So I had to figured out how to do it with just an iPhone.