Dear readers, we are now entering a new chapter of my life. A chapter where I hope I can get wiser as I get older, happier, and more content with life. This is definitely going to be a hell of a ride, but I am hoping that I can overcome any obstacles, any bump in the road, any edge of a cliff that I might face later.
When we ended things with someone whose name was once carved in every inch of our hearts, we realized that our entire routine must be reset because that person will no longer be in it. Who once was in the penthouse of our priority now becomes a stranger, just like when we first met them.
I'd be lying if I said that post-fire life is easily managed. No, it's not because today you look fine as usual, but the next day you have all these scars all over your body. My life and my body changed overnight. I had to say goodbye to my old life and entered this excruciating path I must endure.
Whew... what a year, isn't it? Does everyone get hammered by 2022? Because I did.
To put it nicely, 2022 was one of those impossible years that I had. But, to put it blatantly, 2022 was a fucking shitshow full of misery. It was a perfect hurricane of everything going wrong. That's 2022 for me.
However, let's start with the bright side first. Later on, the recap will get more depressing.
The age of 28 has put me through hell, and I don't think the agony is done. This is just the beginning.
I'm sorry I haven't been able to live the life we wanted. I'm sorry I put us through all of this shit. I'm sorry that we have to feel this way. I'm sorry for burdening those we loved and dragging them into our misery.
Sepertinya begini:
Air mata yang jatuh diam-diam,
dan isak tangis yang ditahan dalam-dalam
adalah yang paling kencang gaungnya,
yang paling pilu laranya,
dan yang tidak pernah sampai pada mata dan telinga sesiapa.
I just want to feel enough.
I want to be strong enough.
I want to be understood enough.
I want to be normal enough.
I want to heal enough.
I just want to be enough.
This is all I got, is this enough?
When is enough truly enough?
I hope you are well.
I know it's been a while, but I want you to know that I'm not forgetting nor abandoning you. I'm currently embarking on an exciting journey, one that I have never thought I would have the courage to do. This voyage requires a lot of my time, so I'm a bit, if not a lot, preoccupied by it.
