Weary

If you already have a problem on your own that you need to deal with, or you don't have the mood to read anything that could ruin your mood even more, please don't read this.

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It's getting blurry here, from those faces I passed in the street until the hours upon hours that had spent. For once it was all technicolor, now it's all turn into gray where there's no black nor white. And there I am, still floating like a cotton blown by the wind, not knowing where it takes me.

Meaningless...

Everything lost its meaning. I don't feel the excitement, the eagerness, whatsoever. And when they lost it, it all just weigh down on me. Like a dozen of bowling balls strapped on my legs and on my back. 

It's getting really tired just to wake myself up before sun even rises and I have to drag myself to office. Or going home almost at midnight, or going home right when the sun is rises. It's even more tiring have to go home and there's nobody I can talk with or having a conversation with. Not to mention having a different schedule with everyone back at home, making it harder to have a small talk just to catch up with everything. Not just back at home, but even here I have different schedule with my friends. We all have different schedule.

Lonely? Maybe that too.

For a while I can just brush it off, but for how long you can keep ignoring it before you explode? No, this is not some homesick, this is different. This the point where you started to feel that you had enough.The point where it drains you out.

The point where everything is just plain weary.