30 Days Writing Challenge

Kayaknya sudah ngga perlu penjelasan atau prolog lagi kalau saya itu memang suka menulis, padahal isi tulisan saya juga kebanyakan ngga jelas dan ngga penting-penting amat. Walaupun begitu, saya masih belum berhenti menulis.

Menulis sudah seperti obat, dan blog ini semacam botolnya. Semua tumpah ruah di sini.

Who could stay?

I tend to push people away. Perhaps because my life is an absolute shitshow and I'm just as fucked up, I don't want to drag people into it. I thought the far away they are the better. They have a good life, why would I want them to caught up in mine? 

Hang in there.

2020 has been hard for everyone since the very first day. So many things happened, most of them brought nothing but bad news. It is like living one hardship after another. Scratch that, this is not even living anymore, we are surviving. We are constantly trying to found a way to keep breathing amidst all the obstacles we have to face each day. 

Teori Bebas

Mungkin satu-satunya cara untuk bebas hanya mati. Tapi setelahnya pun tidak semerta-merta merdeka, harus melewati Pengadilan Sang Maha Tinggi.

Jadi mungkin bebas itu hanya sebatas teori. Tidak lebih dari sekadar sisa-sisa mimpi di penghujung pagi. Kilasan dari asa yang dulu pernah membara namun sudah hangus dimakan sepi.

Yang kerap digunakan sebagai mantra oleh mereka-mereka untuk terus berusaha berdiri, walau punggung sudah bungkuk tak tegap lagi.

Saya terima baik buruknya, dengan segala kerumitannya, dan akan kemungkinan-kemungkinan yang baik di masa depan, tunai.

Semua orang punya masa lalu, bagaimanapun warna, bentuk, dan ceritanya. Paling ngga itu menandakan bahwa kita benar-benar hidup dan masih manusia, bukan sosok khayalan yang dimanifestasi dalam otak seseorang atau robot canggih buatan ilmuwan dalam suatu lab (kebanyakan baca novel sci-fi). Lagipula ngga tepat rasanya kalau masa lalu jadi satu-satunya tolak ukur pribadi seseorang, terlalu banyak variabel yang harus dipertimbangkan, dan kebetulan gue juga bukan ahlinya dalam menilai orang lain.

Doa Malam Ini, Esok, Dan Seterusnya

Semoga bintang-bintang di atas sana mendengar obrolan malam ini, lalu mengamininya beramai-ramai.

Semoga malaikat-malaikat yang tak sengaja lewat melangitkan semua khayalan malam-malam kemarin, malam ini, dan malam-malam yang akan datang.

Semoga angin yang menyusup halus lewat celah jendela membawa amin paling serius sejagat ke surga.

Aamiin.

No Eid's Picture This Year #2

2020 is such a strange time to live.

Never would I have imagined celebrating Eid Al Adha in this manner, wearing a mask, conduct the physical distancing during Eid prayer with each other, including my mother. Even going out to attend the Eid prayer itself is already a risky move to do because of this pandemic, but hey, at least I did all the procedures, and I washed my hands afterward.

Since we have no idea when all of this will end, no family gathering as well today, just like Eid Al Fitr a while ago. And the absence of my brother completes the strangeness. 

Crossroad

The first thing I ran after when I went through a breakup was a distraction, since everything that came after the breakup was only a lingering emptiness.

The room was back to empty, there was no more story to be told, everything must switch back to the way before anything ever happened, and there was just no more. The void it left behind was excruciating. That was when distractions played an important part in becoming my coping mechanism, and when I got sloppy with it.

This might be one of the hardest to write

Prolog

Sekadar ingin menuliskan keluh kesah, juga segala penat dan lelah.

...

Saya kira 2019 sudah jadi tahun yang paling berat yang saya lalui, walaupun saya juga tahu sih ke depannya tentunya akan jauh lebih berat, tapi saya ngga nyangka kalau akan seberat ini. Ibarat kayak main game. Saya masih di level beginner tapi rintangannya serasa di level expert. Saya kalut, ngga tahu gimana caranya menghadapi semua ini sendirian. 

Copy that

Okay, I've been on Blogspot since 2011 and I know people usually visit my blog to copy some articles (that I also copied, with credit, of course), for their college assignment, and I am totally fine with that.

However, 10 minutes ago, I was just finished changing my blog address to the old ones, and I searched my blog title in Google to see what kind of result would come up. Then, on the third or fourth page, I saw my blog title but in WordPress.